How to Cope With Low Self Esteem

Recovering from low self esteem is not easy, but it is possible. There are some habits we can develop to recognize low self esteem. Then the challenge is to turn each situation around so we can build healthy self esteem....Read more

Recovering from low self esteem is not easy, but it is possible. There are some habits we can develop to recognize low self esteem. Then the challenge is to turn each situation around so we can build healthy self esteem.

Steps

1. Develop a sense of awareness. Low self esteem comes from being treated as if how we feel and what we need from life does not matter. We then internalize this treatment, and begin to treat ourselves as a nobody. The vicious circle goes on.
2. Draw on our innate intuition to help others, and use this to help ourselves. For example, if a child was being treated badly and suffering, we would see that and want to intervene. If our friend was being abused, we could see that and advise them to stop accepting that behavior. The trick is to turn that awareness of others' pain into awareness of ourselves, and to become our own best friend.
3. Find the tiniest thing you can change and change it. This is by far the hardest step, but it will get easier with practice. For example, if someone constantly borrows your pencil without asking, in the past you may have dismissed your inner feelings of annoyance. Now, we need to tune into them instead. And act on them; it may be as simple as saying - "you know what, it annoys me when you just take my pencil". Anything that says how we really feel helps.
4. In every situation where you feel bad, ask yourself the question - what would a best friend say I should do? Then go on - be your own best friend.

Tips

• This can become a game, with each success feeling like a few more self-esteem points in the bank. But expect resistance; those of us with low self esteem tend to attract abuse - even small time abuse.
• Small steps towards being our own best friend will add up to big steps in time. The first step can feel like razor blades running through our bodies; then it becomes second-nature. And best of all, we teach those around us how to be healthy and value themselves too!
• Find a buddy to help, and share your successes.
• Remember low self esteem comes from being treated like you don't count. You can change it by treating yourself like you do count!
• The hardest part of building self esteem is feeling a sense of entitlement. Remember the ad - "because you are worth it" and go for it!
• Everyday life gets better when you value yourself; you become happier, have more fun, and treat others with more respect too!

Warnings

• Sometimes, when we are so low, we need outside help. A good counselor who treats us well can help. By being valued and heard, we begin to value and heed our own needs.

Related wikiHows

• How to Increase Low Self Esteem
• How to Boost Your Self Esteem by Being Honest

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