Self Esteem

Some Tips For Building A Child’s Self Esteem

Parents are very powerful figures in the life of any child. First of all, they are responsible for

conceiving the child and for bringing that child into this world so everything that comes after

there will still be held somewhat responsible. The mother best of all has a special emotional

connection with her children while fathers are mostly the ones who deal with practical things in

raising children.

A perfect relationship between parents and children will be when the parents are role models of

providing love and support within the family while the children are obedient but to a certain

degree also independent in living their lives. In this world however there is no such thing as

perfect but this should not stop us from trying to build an ideal relationship.

Child’s Self Esteem

Some Tips For Building A Child’s Self Esteem (You have to read great article)

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How to Build Self Confidence in Seventh Grade

Seventh grade is a stressful time in your life. Lots of kids out there are worried about their crush, personality, friends, grade, and the most popular of all; their looks. These steps can help you little or lots. It depends how willing you are to be more confident. Remember that this isn't JUST for seventh graders, it's perfect for anyone who's in middle school. ...Read more

Steps

You need to focus on the good things about your self. ex: I'm funny! or I have great skin! or I have beautiful eyes! etc. The best ways to do this is make a list! You can also think to yourself about it. Whether you're just about to go to sleep, or out on a walk.
You need to go out and have fun! Hangout with some friends, a boyfriend/girlfriend, even hanging out with your family can help! Whoever, wherever, go out and have a great time. I prefer doing something crazy that you can look back on and laugh about it. (not too crazy) for ex: jumping into the lake at night, walking around Walmart with a bra on over your real clothes.
Take care of you. For once, look in the mirror and care for yourself. Do extra things that'll make you feel better! If you're a girl, you can do a full on beauty day! If you're a guy, you can go and hang with the guys and learn new skate board tricks, or shoot some hoops!
Feel relaxed. Take a bubble bath and turn on your favorite tunes, go out in the sun and tan, take a nap, peacefully swim in a pool, etc.
Be healthy. Wash your face when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Eat more fruits and veggies! Drink some more water. A healthier you, is a happier you! Don't be a slob and eat junk food and be a couch potato. Be a hyper, fun, person!
Get more friends! Try to start conversation with someone who you feel will be a good friend to you. Try to get GOOD friends though, friends that will have your back! If you have more dependable friends, it can really help you get back on you're feet!
Lastly, don't ever forget the real you! Be yourself, not the person who seems perfect. If you try to be some you're not; you can loose everything you got and when you step back in reality, your self-confidence will be the lowest it has ever been.

Tips

Outside activities can help! ex: clubs, sports, committees, lessons.
For some, seventh grade is truly the worst year of their life. If you feel this way, be comforted by this: it will all be over soon.

Warnings

Don't be selfish.
Stay out of trouble.
Don't make friends with someone who will bring you down.

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How to Boost Your Self Esteem by Being Honest

We all have been in situations where you want to lie in order to appear better to people and the world. Somehow we like to cope with others' opinions and we are too scared to accept that we differ from others and we don't like same things as others. And what is worse is that by telling lies we damage our self esteem. ...Read more

Steps

Accept who you really are - not what others expect from you. Being insecure leads you to say or do what others might expect of you. As a result you directly say no to your needs. You also put yourself in a low position just to have a confirmation from the others. But in that way they accept a fake version, not you. They accept a person who says yes to the others and no to her/his needs.
Don't tell lies to make a better impression, not even white lies. In this world we all are humans but still we are unique in our own way. So whatever you say or do it doesn't have to match with others' expectations. Every time you say yes to a lie you say no to your true persona, and as a result that can damage your self-esteem.
Stand up for yourself - did you know in high school that you deserved more than a C but you didn't do anything just to be like the others? This is exactly what you shouldn't do. Treat yourself with respect, and when someone accuses you don't just nod and smile but stand up for yourself. There is no better feeling when you realize that you actually did something to protect yourself, and of course to boost your self-esteem.
Don't hide - explore the inner you - This is the most difficult journey that you can do, but once that you find the road to explore yourself, it is easier to go deeper into your inner soul. By knowing yourself your good and bad sides you will be happier and you will know how to deal with problems and people that are trying so hard to put you down.
Accept the fact that you are not perfect - no one is. And the more you try to hide your flaws the more people will try to mention and try to hurt you. So instead just laugh and say that you are not good at making cookies, but then mention something that you are good at it. Remember honesty is the best policy when it comes to your self-esteem.

Tips

Don't worry what other people might say about you, worry about how to do something that you really like and if you can afford it.
Do something that will make you feel better.Listen to music,exercise, etc.
Relax. That is the most important thing in order to feel comfortable in your own skin.
During the day no matter how busy you are, try to spend time with yourself to find out more about you. Take a paper and pencil if needed and see what your insecurities are and what you can do to overcome those.

Warnings

By being honest doesn't mean that you have to share all your secrets and things that you hate. Remember there are immature people who will take advantage of that honesty.
The only way to feel better about yourself is to avoid people that are trying to put you down. Sometimes it is better to have less friends than plenty of toxic people who drain your energy. Read related articles on how to avoid people that you don't like.
By being honest doesn't mean to treat others with disrespect. Treat others as you would want them to treat you, but still tell them that they can't hurt you.

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How to Cope With Low Self Esteem

Recovering from low self esteem is not easy, but it is possible. There are some habits we can develop to recognize low self esteem. Then the challenge is to turn each situation around so we can build healthy self esteem....Read more

Steps

Develop a sense of awareness. Low self esteem comes from being treated as if how we feel and what we need from life does not matter. We then internalize this treatment, and begin to treat ourselves as a nobody. The vicious circle goes on.
Draw on our innate intuition to help others, and use this to help ourselves. For example, if a child was being treated badly and suffering, we would see that and want to intervene. If our friend was being abused, we could see that and advise them to stop accepting that behavior. The trick is to turn that awareness of others' pain into awareness of ourselves, and to become our own best friend.
Find the tiniest thing you can change and change it. This is by far the hardest step, but it will get easier with practice. For example, if someone constantly borrows your pencil without asking, in the past you may have dismissed your inner feelings of annoyance. Now, we need to tune into them instead. And act on them; it may be as simple as saying - "you know what, it annoys me when you just take my pencil". Anything that says how we really feel helps.
In every situation where you feel bad, ask yourself the question - what would a best friend say I should do? Then go on - be your own best friend.

Tips

This can become a game, with each success feeling like a few more self-esteem points in the bank. But expect resistance; those of us with low self esteem tend to attract abuse - even small time abuse.
Small steps towards being our own best friend will add up to big steps in time. The first step can feel like razor blades running through our bodies; then it becomes second-nature. And best of all, we teach those around us how to be healthy and value themselves too!
Find a buddy to help, and share your successes.
Remember low self esteem comes from being treated like you don't count. You can change it by treating yourself like you do count!
The hardest part of building self esteem is feeling a sense of entitlement. Remember the ad - "because you are worth it" and go for it!
Everyday life gets better when you value yourself; you become happier, have more fun, and treat others with more respect too!

Warnings

Sometimes, when we are so low, we need outside help. A good counselor who treats us well can help. By being valued and heard, we begin to value and heed our own needs.

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How to Develop Self Esteem Through God

There is a form of self-esteem that comes from an understanding of who God is and one's relationship with God. Here is how to develop self-esteem through God. This approach is centred on Jesus Christ the Messiah; others may promote other paths, but this path has proven to be very effective; so effective that you or your friends can know how to prove God is real and find yourself in Him and bless the whole world in God's Love....Read more

There is a form of self-esteem that comes from an understanding of who God is and one's relationship with God. Here is how to develop self-esteem through God. This approach is centred on Jesus Christ the Messiah; others may promote other paths, but this path has proven to be very effective; so effective that you or your friends can know how to prove God is real and find yourself in Him and bless the whole world in God's Love.

Steps

Begin a study of the scriptures. Start with the New Testament - the book of John. Also study the Old Testament. These are records of God's dealings with the men and women on earth and the prophecies he sent through prophets- every one of which has come true so far.
Look for evidences, as you study, that you are a child of God, a son or daughter of God. Look also for evidence that God is the only creator, righteous, holy, loving, good, and not capable of any evil. Look for writings that show God's love for his children, a love that mirrors and transcends the love a parent has for a child. This will provide you with the theoretical knowledge to support your self-esteem. Knowing that your true self is connected to the fact that God created you and loves you even though you are a sinner provides true confidence. You can know that you are truly loved unconditionally, which is a good way to gain esteem and confidence.
Begin turning your mind, actions and thoughts to reflect the things you've studied (put on the new man, and all of the armor of God) as you are converted by God Receive the Holy Spirit as per the Bible and are born again. These are the things that God has asked his children to do in order to serve him. God also knows that when one lives life the way He's prescribed for us, by obeying his commands, that person will be living life in the fullest most abundant way possible. In his love, he has given you guidance to achieve this.
Call upon God in prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ. You can even use those words: "...in the name of Jesus Christ". As you seek to follow Christ, he will change you Be Born Again. If you turn away from sin and accept that Christ died on the cross and rose again to save you from eternal separation from God, then the holy spirit will regenerate you and make you into a new person. Both the prayer and the life-changes will give you the practical experience to support your self-esteem.
Notice that God will be with you: as you come across obstacles in your life that will be impossible to overcome, "all by yourself".
Cherish the moment: It won't matter what others think about you, what they say, or what you can and can't do. You will feel good about yourself because you will know how much Jesus Christ loves you. It is a feeling you won't get anywhere else.
Live for God, when it's all done: Remember, if you are a Christian, you are living in the world, but you are not "of" the world. The rules of world's peoples, their esteem, their clothing, everything of theirs is just that, theirs; not given over to God's will. You are God's loved child, and as his child, you must rely fully on him for everything, including self-esteem.
- Self-esteem is HIGHLY overrated. If you need more self-esteem, you need more God. It is not our self-esteem that matters, but our GOD-esteem. Remember that through your day. Who cares if kids at school or co-workers tease or ridicule you for your faith? In the end, its not your social standing that matters, its your faith.

Video

Tips

Reading the Holy Bible and actually understanding it can give you real self esteem. Take some time to read and reflect on it.
Remember that you may not see Godly things as the answer to your problems even though they might be better for you than you can ever believe, think or imagine.
Understand that God made you for a reason, as in the Bible many have done what God wanted them to do, and look how they affected history.
- 26 Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established.27 Do not turn to the right nor to the left: turn your foot from evil.(Proverbs 4:26-27)[1]

Warnings

There are mystical courses that claim to have all of life's answers. It seems to have the "spiritually correct" solution to bring about peace and unity. However, in the end, this transformation brings spiritual death if it is just miracles and angels without Christ.
Be clear that a message about miracles and angelic beings is not necessarily the message of Jesus Christ. It may be an eastern/or a new age religion wrapped in Christian terminology. That is deceptive because it sounds like Christianity but it is very very different unless it is lifting up Jesus Christ as savior.
The Bible is fully inspired by God's Holy Spirit so know that He does not merely want you to be confident in yourself. He actually wants you to give him your entire life -- that's why Jesus dying on the Cross was so significant.
If you are to the point where you have no self esteem and see no worth in your life talk to someone as soon as possible. These feelings are dangerous.

Things You'll Need

Scriptures
Bible

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Sources and Citations

Holy Bible
wayofthemaster.com
olivetreeviews.org
sliceoflaodicea.com
understandthetimes.org
http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/thcourse.html

↑ http://bible.cc/proverbs/4.htm Proverbs 4:26-27

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How to Be Popular if You Have No Self Esteem

Trying to be the life of the party but still don't have enough confidence to do it? Your low self esteem is playing tricks on you? Let's review these tips for a big confidence boost....Read more

Trying to be the life of the party but still don't have enough confidence to do it? Your low self esteem is playing tricks on you? Let's review these tips for a big confidence boost.

Steps

Get some self esteem. Look closely at the life of the party. Do they always wear expensive and elegant attire, are they 6 ft tall, insanely thin and gorgeous? Most probably not. Even if they are, these are NOT the reasons for being very popular. Write a list of only good things about yourself. Write a list of things that need improvement, for example : grades, quality of your health, confidence. Work out a plan to eat healthier/ study harder/be more confident. Fake it till you make it. Also believe that every single negative thing can be turned into a positive. If you aren't thin, say you have womanly curves. If you aren't tall believe that you are a petite cutie pie. If you are tall and under confident, feel that you are a sexy glamazon. Small lips, big lips... It doesn't matter and both are beautiful.
Practice walking and sitting with your back straight; having a good posture can make wonders on your self esteem.
Make proper eye contact with people you talk with as much as possible. It takes practice, especially if you have low self esteem. Start with 5 seconds, and work your way up. To break up the eye contact look at another feature on their face (never below the chin, and never over their shoulder), then come back to their eyes.
Dress like a winner, your clothes and appearance can make a big difference between being perceived as a great person or a lame person. Get a personal shopper (they are free) at a major department store to help you out whether it is one item or an entire wardrobe. You would be amazed at what they would perceive to look good on you versus what you would wear.
Learn new social skills like: learning how to have a great conversation or how to be a good listener. Start by learning how to listen. The most popular people are the ones perceived as good listeners first!
Learn skills that entertain people like card tricks, magic or palmistry; some of these skills are easy to learn and can give you a great self esteem boost.
The best skill to learn is a sense of (healthy) humor, the ability to laugh at oneself (within reason). Popular people are the ones with the best sense of humor.
Surround yourself with great people with good self esteem, who support you and help you with your self esteem issues.
Read books and learn about how to improve your self esteem.
Identify the top two things that you tend to identify as pulling down your self esteem, and work on improving them in order to mitigate the source of your lack of self esteem. For example, if your biggest self esteem issue stems from your being overweight, then work on that issue first. Keep crossing out your top two self esteem busters as you work on them, till your list is all clear!
Work your newfound charm and self esteem on one person, then another, then another, then a couple at a time, and in no time on a crowd! You have been just crowned 'Popular'!

Tips

Good self esteem will help you throughout your life so build it as quickly as you can.
Two great self esteem booster books are The Magic of Thinking Big and Think and Grow Rich
Being popular is easier when you have a good self esteem so improve it to be perceived as a great person.
The only way to improve your self esteem is by doing; start with small, positive changes that you are comfortable with, and centralize the improvements in yourself and in your life.
Remember humility. It's not about thinking less of yourself, it's about thinking of yourself less and remembering to think of others. Think highly of yourself, but don't act as if you think yourself better than others, even if you do. Be respectful of everyone's differences.

Warnings

By default, avoid people who tend to put you down, who do not put you at ease, who make you painfully aware that your self esteem is low. If this includes family, so be it. We have but one life, and are entitled to the pursuit of our own happiness!
Avoid other people whose self esteem is equally low!

Things You'll Need

Popular buddies

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How to Elevate Your Self Esteem

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
For many years now, "self-esteem" has been synonymous with "self image," but that's not really what self-esteem is. Positive self-image is important - it's caring about yourself and seeing yourself as a unique and special individual simply because of who you are as a human being. Self-esteem is a positive sense of one's own worth that is based on actually doing worthy things - it's that feeling you get when you've accomplished something, and it's a great feeling. Here's how to build it and help others lift theirs in the process.

Steps

Do things and live life so that you impress yourself. There's only one way to elevate your self-esteem - earn your own respect. Many times we try to impress others but that's a fool's game. The person you really need to impress is you. Always seek to improve yourself against your own achievements, your own milestones, not anyone else's.
- Stop trying to win other's respect. Live your life with integrity and self-determination based on what impresses you, and respect will follow.
- When possible, walk away from people who don't respect you. When you can't, don't sink to their level. That can be difficult but it improves with practice. It makes a good goal in itself to learn not to sink to their level when people disrespect you. Understand that they may have a generic reason to disrespect you such as prejudice or by character they may be malicious. If it's a misunderstanding, try sorting it out - when a liar spreads stories about you it can be hard to sort out what they said and spread the truth but it can cause people who'd otherwise take you as you are to treat you with disrespect. Understand the differences in those situations and absolutely never trust anyone who's lied about you behind your back again.
- While other people's opinions and ideas have their place in your life, don't set your life according to them. Listen and take on board what works for you but only internalize that which you believe improves you or works for because you have made a choice for yourself.
Set goals and work toward them. They don't have to be pie-in-the-sky, they can just be gradual improvements. You could decide to learn to play the guitar, for example. Start by saving up to get a guitar, then learn one chord until you have it perfect, then another, then another. Get guitar books and sheet music from the library learning one song at a time or play by ear. Or learn to draw with art books, a sketchbook and pencils by practicing every day. A different example: you have a B- overall grade point average. Resolve to raise your GPA at least a half grade each semester until you are a B+, then you will renegotiate. Begin to study harder, join a study group or choose a study partner. As you begin to gain mastery of your schoolwork and see your GPA rise to a B and finally to a B+, you will have a solid sense of accomplishment - and your self-esteem will rise. Both daily success - "I studied tonight" and external success "I'm good enough to play guitar at a party and no one laughed at me" are different types of self esteem.
- Judge your goals wisely. Look at your real goals and interests in life. If your long term goal is to become an educated professional or get a free ride scholarship to college, then raising your grades is the first step in a long road to a large personal success. If you're raising your grades from B+ to A+ to please a critical parent that expects perfection, choose a self esteem goal that doesn't rest on their opinion of your success, such as learning to draw, play guitar, build a collection, tell jokes well, skills that will help you relax when you're successful in a high pressure career. You're already living one, something in your life has to be just from the heart. A good goal is something you would enjoy anyway even if no one knew you did it, no one paid for it and no one complimented it. That feeds the soul.
Gain accomplishments and achievements. Study hard. Take that B+ and turn it into Honors by keeping it as a personal subject of study for one to three years. Or play hard at a sport. Even if you are only average, the more you practice, the better you will get, and that's an achievement of its own. Choose something to excel at, choose a goal, and work hard toward it until you achieve - even working toward bettering yourself for the sake of doing it is a worthy pursuit.
- Play to your strengths. If you run fast and aren't bulky or strong, maybe track is a better sport than football. If you're creative and dramatic, consider drama and audition for school plays. If you're great at math and hate slippery literature and arts subjects, seek out the Astronomy Club or Chess Club and build your skills in the areas that come easiest. Strengthen your native talents. It's good to have at least one goal like this that comes from exactly who you are and what you do best.
- It's also good to set goals that shore up your weaknesses. If you're brilliant in math and computer science, barely snagging D minus in English and afraid to talk to girls, setting the goals of getting your English grade up to a B minus and overcoming shyness are good for self esteem too. Someone else may not think of a C minus as a good grade in English, but when you raised it from a D minus and risked flunking every semester that is an important achievement, perhaps more difficult than pushing B minus to B plus.
Value noble pursuits. Academics, the arts and sports are time-honored traditional pursuits which can bring out the best in a person by testing intellectual and physical limits, and fostering individual and team efforts. You could write a novel, write an original piece of music, create a graphic novel or paint well enough to gain honors. Look at ways in which these noble pursuits can be carried on through life beyond school.
Value harmless, self-rewarding pursuits. Knitting, gardening, quilting, woodworking, decorative painting, collecting, model building, fandom (music, sports, television, movie), fashion, Do It Yourself, trivia, games, reading are all things that harm no one and give self esteem by your competence in them. They also bring social support from others who share your passion. It doesn't need to be a high and noble pursuit to be a goal that matters to you and it doesn't have to earn you a living if it gives you lifelong pleasure and relaxation. Many of the arts and sciences can also fall into this category even if you don't follow a career in them or pursue them to professional level - rocketry clubs, community theater, open mike comedy or music and leisure painting are all still worthwhile even if you choose to remain amateur and do these things only because you love them. They will also give you a good basis for building a new social life anytime you relocate. If there isn't a club for it in your new location you can found one and others will be glad you did.
Help someone. Volunteer at a retirement home or a homeless shelter. Get involved with your church in a ministry to the sick or the poor. Donate your time and service to a humane animal shelter. Be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Nothing is more rewarding than offering your time and talent to help others in need. Getting outside your own head and your normal circle of influence can be eye opening and humbling.
Practice humility. No one was ever a greater public servant than Mother Teresa, she helped the poor, the sick and the dying, and never turned anyone away. Yet Mother Teresa was a strong, noble soul who knew that if she did not help these people, perhaps no one would. She fought a lifetime battle with chronic depression and won, she never quit or surrendered to it. She saw the value in each individual and never allowed herself to despair that her life's works might not change the world for millions - much of the time, she worked to relieve one soul's suffering at a time. That's real self-esteem: "I am only one person, but I can help these people." That's knowing and believing in the power of One Person to make a real difference. And making that difference one person at a time may be a humble goal, but it is a worthy one.
Pass your skills and talents on to someone. Teaching someone your specialty will show you how much you really do know and have to offer. As you help a novice learn the skills you have honed, you will feel their admiration and respect for your prowess. In turn, you will be helping another develop those same skills, so that they may be passed on again.
Allow children to build self-esteem honestly. Just because they're kids doesn't mean they're stupid - do you really think they don't know you let them win? Self-esteem isn't built by being handed a win. It's built by actually winning. Play a game with with your kid until he or she masters it - it can be anything: Dominoes, Scrabble, Pokemon, a video game, Hearts - and whatever you do, do not play down to him or her. When you win, celebrate. Don't belittle him or call him a loser, just say, "Yay, I win!" And then say, "Let's see, did you make any mistakes? Maybe you didn't - maybe it was just a bad draw. Let's look at your game and see where it could improve." Help him, show him how to improve, and play again. Eventually, he or she will beat you. When she/he does, tell him or her to stand up on the table and do a victory dance. Look at her or his face. See how your child feels when he/she knows he/she earned this win, fair and square, and on his or her own? It's a huge difference, because it tells the child they have the power to win, if he/she sticks with something and tries hard. It can set the tone for the way she or he goes at things the rest of her or his life. Don't "let" them win. By doing so you rob him of the chance to earn a win honestly.
- Children understand the difference between being handed a win because you love them and winning because they won in a competitive situation. Don't be surprised if a child hands you a win, ask yourself if you've been a sore loser if that happens.
- Encourage non-competitive activities and praise every step on the way to success rather than expecting perfection. It's good to have at least one goal that can only rest on comparing with your own previous performance, to keep from getting so wound up in pressure to succeed that any failure is catastrophic.

Video

Tips

Discover the realistic limitations to your behavior and abilities. Allow yourself the mobility between success and failure. Forgiveness includes yourself.
Nobody can give you self-esteem. You have to earn it yourself.
Fandom, whether it's television, sports, movies, music, is a popular and effective type of goal and activity. Winning trivia contests in something you spend your free time enjoying is a mildly competitive activity that does build self esteem and strengthen memory in general. Don't forget that less official activities and pursuits are often less dependent on having school facilities and resources to pursue. Strong interests can also help you build and keep an active social life once school ends, even if you relocate for reasons of work. There will be other fans of your favorite music, shows, movies and sports in your new location too.
Believe that you can make a difference, one person or task at a time. Over time, as your efforts bear fruit, you will feel your inner sense of satisfaction at your accomplishments.
Have a sense of humor - especially about yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously, keep things in perspective.
Choosing at least one non-competitive activity is important to have something that doesn't rest on other people's opinions and is easy to measure only against your own past progress. If you want to read everything Dickens wrote, that's a goal that you can complete and it won't have any bearing on anyone's reaction except other Dickens fans. Competing, even if you don't win, can become exciting and does help you sharpen your skills - thereby building your estimation of yourself. In competitive activities, choose those you're reasonably good at or capable of doing well if you apply yourself. Beating your head on brick walls by trying to compete in something where you lack the basic capacity to do it well enough to succeed does not build self esteem, only frustration. A heavy, large youth can try to become strong and fit, lose some weight and try out for football but is unlikely with that build to become a track star.
Competition in sports and similar activities is healthy when it's fair, within your abilities and played with real enjoyment and respect for others. Competition in which you compare yourself negatively with others and try to be "better" than them is not. You can never know what life is really like for other people. Much of it doesn't show, so setting your standards by other people's clothes, belongings, and rank at the office will simply demoralize you and lower your self-esteem. Someone with thousands of dollars in expensive clothes and electronics may be the one getting bought off by parents who'd rather get a root canal than spend an hour with their kid.
Keep a written record of your progress toward your goal, whether that's your scores in sports practice, hours studied, dating your sketches, writing out what chords you learned or gaining or losing weight in pounds. Daily small successes are one of the best ways to build self esteem. It's not the state championship that gives you the strength to weather adversity later on, it was all the practice that helped you get on the team in the first place and all the practice before the first game, every one of those games along the way.

Warnings

Avoid illegal and self destructive goals. Whoever drank the most beer without puking is likely to be an alcoholic, they gain the most alcohol tolerance. Joining a gang may get you a future where prison is your higher education and you can't step back out into a different life. Sex with as many partners as you can get will eventually lead to venereal disease instead of a deep relationship with someone who'll love you for life and treat you well.
Think of the long term as well as the short term. Sports that aren't easily available in adult life or peak when you're young are great if you're so good that you'll become professional. For many they lead to sitting on a couch at forty remembering glory days instead of looking forward to new triumphs at the bowling alley or racquetball court. A consistently high GPA can lead to full free-ride scholarships, but if your self esteem rests on getting high grades, graduation from college can become a huge shock. Out in the working world, there are no external grades to measure your success by, so be sure at least some of your goals are timeless and not dependent on school facilities.
Avoid the temptation to turn self-esteem into conceit and arrogance. People with good self-esteem are very attractive. Arrogant louts aren't.

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How to Help Someone With Low Self Esteem

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Whether it's your friend or the love of your life, all people like to have high self esteem. However, everyone has their inner weaknesses, as well.

Steps

Compliment them often. When they do or say something sweet, considerate, sincere, funny, whatever, take it graciously and say it was a nice gesture or they are funny, whatever is the appropriate response.
Be sincere. Although we as humans can't always handle the truth, it usually is the thing that we must hear. If the person asks you a question, answer it honestly and nicely without hurting their feelings or overdoing it. Even if it may be a little harsh, say it as kindly as possible.
Make sure you are slow to anger. It is easy to get annoyed with a person who is constancy putting themselves down but they are at a very fragile position right now and getting mad at them will just aggravate the situation. If you attack them or get mad they will feel like you hate them and become even worse.
Be aware of their feelings. When people see sad people they tend to avoid them or pretend like they don't exist so that they won't bring them down. This, however, is the opposite of what needs to be done. The person with low self esteem needs to know that they care about them because they probably feel like no one does. Lets say you saw him/her on the bench, crying. You walk over and ask whats wrong, and they say go away. DO NOT GO AWAY! This will make them feel worse. Sit next to them and comfort them, even if they do not say what is making them feel bad.
Find out what they are struggling with. It could be looks, confidence, social fear, bullying, not fitting in, feeling lonely, or many other reasons that they feel inferior. Find out why they feel as they do, what they actually feel, and what they actually want.
Try to include them. When you are having a party, invite them, when they are trying to come in a conversation, include them, when they are scared to meet someone, introduce them. Most people with low self esteem feel as though no one likes them or some variation on that theme. If you take the time to let them be included and find out that some people genuinely do like them, they will gain confidence.
Realise that they may be a tad bitter. And take that with a grain of salt. When people like these have taken an emotional beating from themselves and the people around them they might not be nice all of the time. You have to be compassionate and gentle with them as most of these people are used to being put down all of the time and so are generally on the defensive.
Be careful with what you say. People with low self esteem are very sensitive and vulnerable in the areas that they are insecure. Where one person might shrug a side remark off, a person with low self esteem might internalize it and crumble from the inside. Just as you wouldn't expect a baby to 'jog off' a bruise or injury, you can't expect a person with low self esteem to just shrug off a nasty comment or a taunting joke.
Don't baby them. There is a fine line between being nice and laying it on too thick. If you are too nice all the time they will either get offended, creeped out, or not be able to handle being without you. Be sure to be nice but just take it easy.

Warnings

Don't let them think you are into them. If they like you, too, and they think you like them, they will just have lower self-esteem when they find out you don't.
Don't make jokes that could be taken offensively. It could hurt more than have the desired effect of making them laugh. They may even laugh and cover it up making it worse.
Don't lie to make them feel better. It will come back to haunt you.

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How to Pull Yourself Together After Insulting Someone

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How to Build Up Low Self Esteem

Though it is difficult to give a definition of self esteem, the psychological term denotes an individual's evaluation about their own self. Though many give their own definition of self esteem, widely accepted definition is that of Nathaniel Branden. According to him, self esteem is "the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness".

It is important to understand, when born, most of us will have high self esteem. This is influenced as we grow, by teachers, parents and other friends or relatives. Many have low self esteem due to one of these influencing personalities. With low esteem, we can never live life to their fullest, or enjoy life. Even doing our daily routine, relationships, or achieving goals can become a problem with reduced self esteem.

Here are few tips to improve self esteem.

Stay positive and upbeat: Thinking you are not capable, or you are not worthy are signs of having low self esteem. Have a positive outlook and believe yourself.

Cherish your every achievement and reward yourself for them.

Much like how you shouldn't brag about yourself, you shouldn't decline appreciation and honor. You are honored and appreciated, because you are worth it! Accept it gracefully.

Never think about your problems and brood over your past. Move on and have a positive outlook, so you can change your future.

Understand your powers and limitations. It is good to be positive, but you should know where you stand in life. Never be over ambitious or think about things that aren't viable and be depressed over it. Use your powers and win over your limitations!

Challenge yourself every now and then. Change is one thing that's constant and when you adapt yourself to different situations, you can become a better person. This way, you can also know your hidden potentials.

Don't compare yourself with anyone, who above or below you! You are what you are! There's no photocopy of you. Remember, you are unique and special. By comparing, you can undermine yourself. You might not be the best rapper, but you will probably be good at something else. So don't compare yourself with others.

Stay motivated at all times. Reading inspirational thoughts, affirmations, quotes on self esteem and everything related, can keep you upbeat and motivated.

Socialize and never restrict yourself to a cage! You need to mingle with others, get out of your room or home and talk to people you know and know those you don't! Socializing, is one way to improve your self esteem.

Set realistic goals and strive to achieve them. By setting goals and working towards

achieving them, you improve your self esteem.

Forgive your mistakes and work towards being a better person. No one is perfect! Instead, learn from your mistakes.

Be confident, never over confident. Believe in yourself and strive to better yourself every moment. Never put yourself down, for anything or anyone!

Remember to have fun! Life is short, so make the most of it when you can. It is never wrong to have fun! Enjoy life and be happy!

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How to Develop Self Esteem

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. Read on to find out how!

Steps

Work on Improving Yourself

Dress nicely. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don't look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. This doesn't mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. Expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Find things that you like and in return, you will like the way you look.
Have good hygiene. Take care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes and brushing your teeth twice a day.
Practice good posture. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They often are unenthusiastic and don't consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You'll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
Work out regularly. Physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure and unattractive. By working out, you improve your physical appearance and do something constructive with your time. If you work out in the morning, it also creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
Give back to others. Volunteer someplace in your community. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase your self esteem.

Make Yourself Stand Out

Compliment other people. Break the cycle of negativity by getting in the habit of praising other people. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
Sit in the front row. Most people prefer the back of a classroom or office because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
Speak up. Many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them or think of them negatively. The simple fact is that these are fears everyone experiences. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts and recognized as a leader by your peers.
Walk faster. You don't have to power walk at all times, but people with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go and things to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by doing this because you will look and feel more important.

Remove Your Negative Self-Esteem

Start from within. Ignore any and all destructive criticism or insults, including any from your past. Your opinion of yourself is the most important opinion of all, because you know yourself better than anyone else. Many of us have been hurt by others at some time. It is crucial not to internalize that abuse and let them continue to hurt us, because that means the other person wins. If we let go of the past, ignore hurtful negativity and make ourselves happy, then we win.
Create daily affirmations. Tell yourself that you are a wonderful person who deserves to be happy. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. If you've made mistakes that prevent you from believing that you deserve to be happy, take measures to relieve that guilt. Apologize to people you may have hurt (if possible), learn from those mistakes and forgive yourself.
Start with small steps to gain confidence. Take small steps and make small choices to gain confidence in your ability to make a decision. As you become secure in your ability to make good choices, you will gain confidence in yourself, and be more secure about your abilities in general.
- For example, if purchasing jeans makes you anxious because of the plethora of brands, colors, and styles, then just go with your instincts. Trust yourself and go with whatever feels right to you. And if you really feel you made a wrong decision in retrospect, the situation can be easily rectified by exchanging the jeans.
Don't always try to please others. It is great to be considerate of others, but think before sacrificing your own needs to please them. Bending over backwards for strangers, mere acquaintances or people you don't trust may leave you with the short end of the stick. In short, don't allow yourself to be used.
Be your own person. Don't try to copy anyone else. You will be at your best when you are being yourself because of your uniqueness. Strive to be your best and do not criticize yourself if you fall short of your expectations.
Avoid negative people. People who have a negative attitude which may rub off on you are not good for you. If you're timid, loud and aggressive people are probably not good for you, and vice versa. Whatever you do, do not compare yourself to others. Just be the best that you can be.
Face your fears and learn from your failures. We only fail when we do not make the best out of adversity. When something doesn't go the way we would like it to, there is something to be learned from that, which can be applied next time you are in a similar situation. Get up and try again.
Stop the negative thoughts. Try positive thinking on for size. The term “self-fulfilling prophecy” in relation to self-esteem basically states that whatever you believe about yourself, whether it be perfect or totally off base, becomes true. If you constantly tell yourself you are stupid or that you will never achieve success, you will in turn act as such. When negative thoughts come into your mind, speak to them. Say "Stop" or "No," and instantly replace that negative thought with a positive one. Using this method will help you to break the habit of repeatedly giving yourself negative messages. Instead, make a habit out of saying positive things about yourself and to yourself, and use the self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage.
Don't worry about being "perfect." Aiming for perfection in life is a lost cause because the term means different things to different people. Nobody is perfect in the eyes of everyone else. Instead, seek to achieve goals.
Learn to appreciate yourself. Everyone has strengths, weaknesses, habits, and principles that define who you are and can make you distinctive. Spend more time focusing on the qualities about yourself that you like and less on the ones that you dislike. You can better accomplish this by taking up hobbies and projects that you can do which will make use of your strengths. Additionally, by starting on some projects that emphasize your good traits, it will keep you busy so you will end up spending less time thinking about your weaknesses.
Reward yourself when you succeed. Treat yourself to something nice Bask in the glow of your successes. Believe in yourself completely and others will also believe and trust in you.

Video

This video shows you how to build your self-esteem.

Tips

Don't feel like you are not good enough because you haven't been treated the way that you should be. Overcoming that is a strength in itself and something to admire.
Not all decisions may turn out to be right ones. Just keep in mind that right or wrong, you are the one who makes the decisions in your life. Because you are responsible for your choices, you have the power to change your situation. Do not let your confidence disappear because you made one wrong choice.
Your inner strength will enable you to reach your goals in life. If you fall down, pick yourself up and try again.
Smile at yourself in the mirror every day and at least TRY to smile at others.
Everyone goes through the phases of feeling low or high, i.e. low or high self esteem. This happens especially if you judge yourself by your successes or failures. If you learn to estimate yourself by the nature of actions (e.g. their benefit to the society or to yourself), then you are likely to develop high self esteem without any disrespect or bitterness about others.
The opposite feeling of self-esteem is anxiety. Feeling anxious is not a good nor a bad feeling. It's just a mechanism of yourself telling you that there's something wrong and you need to act upon it. Anxiety is the fuel to responding to what is wrong and thus developing self esteem.
Don't let magazine ads and other media outlets try to take away your self confidence for marketing purposes. Don't let people who don't know you tell you how to feel or what to strive for. Choose your own path.
Be careful not to act as though you are better than others. Even if you are, true self confidence leads you down the path of modesty and respect for others. Your self-esteem is something that fills you up and helps light your way through life. Pomp, conceit, inability to compromise and disrespect for the self-esteem of others are merely masks for inner insecurity and weakness. People who try to hide behind these aren't fooling anyone.
As your self confidence builds, you will feel better about yourself, and your self esteem will grow from the inside out.
Once you convince your subconscious the way you want to be, you will find that you will start to become far more confident and life will be the way you want it.
Tell yourself you are confident and outgoing even if you don't feel that way. Your feelings and beliefs all come from the thoughts you think so if you believe you are confident and outgoing you will be. Think as though you don't even know what it's like to have low self-esteem.
A good trick to starting to build self-confidence is to pick something about yourself that you do like (EVERYONE has as least one aspect about them that they like) and create a phrase: "I'm (aspect) and I'm awesome!" Then pick something that you want to improve: "I'm going to ________ and life will rock even more because ______!" Pick a time to repeat this mantra, like every time you brush your teeth or rub your eyes. Examples: "I'm a good artist! I'm going to be less shy and life will rock even more because more people will see my art!" "I'm clever! I am going to think things out more to solve minor problems around me. Life is in my control!"
Make sure your self talk is positive at all times. Tell yourself how great you are or how good you look today. Make being positive your natural state of being.
Look at yourself in the mirror every day. Try to find something to admire about yourself in your looks, accomplishments and achievements.
Listen to a song that suits your mood. There is a song for almost everything. When you jam to a favorite tune that you can relate to, it gives you confidence.
The most important thing of all is that you have to believe in yourself. If you believe you can, then you will be able to.
Be assertive. Boosting your self-esteem is all about getting what you need/want. Do things for your own sake. Remember, you must help yourself first before you can help others.
Visualize yourself being surrounded by people who are patting you on the back or shaking your hand, or standing and clapping for you. Visualization is a very powerful tool to use.
Always smile even if you aren't in the mood to.
Don't pay attention to people who think that they're better than you.
When you get anxious about the future, it is better not to think about it. The more you think about it the more anxious you'll get. Of course its important to think about what lies ahead, too, but if you only look at what's down the road, you'll get tangled by the "laundry" by your feet and fall, wont you?You see, its also important to think about what you can do now. What you can do today, and if you keep washing things one at a time, you'll be done before you know it. Sometimes the anxiety will start to well up, but when it does... take a little break. Read a book, watch TV,spend time with friends.
Just be yourself. Go at your own pace. You'll fit in just fine.
"No one really starts out kind. All we know how to do at first is want. We want food, we want attention...it's just natural survival instinct, I guess...but kindness is something that we all have to learn as we go. It's something that grows and develops slowly over time...the same way our bodies do.
True kindness isn't something we're born with. It's something we have to work at. Not everyone has it. But I think everyone has the potential. Sometimes you just have to look really close before you can tell it's there.
Maybe the reason you don't see it is that it's stuck to your back. What I mean is, a person's admiral qualities - they're just like, say, a pickled plum on a rice ball. In other words the person's the rice ball and the plum's stuck to their back. So, all over the world you can have rice balls made with all sorts of wonderful ingredients, all different flavors and shapes and colors, but since they'd be stuck in the middle of everyone's back, someone could have a plum and not even know it. They'd look at themselves and think "I'm so plain, nothing but white rice," even though it isn't true because, turn them around and, sure enough, there it is. There's the plum. So if someone is jealous of somebody else, well, then, it's probably because it's easier to see the plum on someone else's back than it is on your own. Yup. I can see it. I can see it very clearly,you don't know it but you have a great big plum on your back.
Don't give up!

Warnings

Consistently low self esteem could be a sign of depression. Talk with your doctor and review all available options if you think this might be the case.

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The Secret To Self-Esteem

What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. People often interchange the word Self-Esteem with Self-Confidence. Self-Confidence is how you feel about your abilities to do something.

Low self-esteem is not uncommon with most women I work with. I often hear "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not worth it". This often comes from years of being belittled by an ex-spouse, family members, friends or even a boss. This defeating behavior becomes ingrained in you and you begin to own that negative viewpoint of yourself.

So, what do you do if you have low self-esteem?

Instead of looking at the glass as half-empty; take a look at it being half-full. What are you good at?

I had low self-esteem when I left my marriage. I felt totally inadequate at managing my life as a single divorced mother. However, I could point to other areas of my life where I shined. I am an excellent cook, excel in my career and I'm a loving mother. In other words, I had self-confidence in certain areas of my life.

I find amusement today in the fact that when I first left my marriage, I was responsible for a multi-million dollar budget at my job. But, I was fearful of handling my personal finances on my own. The skill set of living with your budget is the same; but I had no confidence in my ability to apply this in my personal life.

For me, it took someone to point out that I'm already doing this skill; I need to just apply the same principles to how I manage actual spend to budgets at work to what I do at home. From this experience, I learned when I'm facing a daunting task I need to look at the other areas of my life that utilize a similar skill set or experience and apply what I learned.

But what do you do if you have no experience to draw upon.

You ask for assistance from someone who possesses the skill set you need to learn. After the divorce, I moved into a townhouse. When I scrapped up enough money, I purchased some new light fixtures. I knew I needed to hire an electrician for some of the bigger pieces; but asked a girlfriend who does all of her own home repairs to assist me with installing hallway lights.

I was like a newborn baby absorbing all this information about the new world of electricity. Prevention of harm by turning off circuit breakers to understanding why there are 3 wires and how to install. It was an amazing learning experience. I felt good to learn a new skill and gave me the confidence that I could do other minor home repairs.

I discovered that I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I can overcome what I fear; it builds my self-confidence. As my self-confidence grows, I feel better about myself. When I feel better about myself my self-esteem grows.

Today, I feel comfortable in my own skin about being able to handle any aspect of living as a

single mother. And that is an amazing and joyous feeling!

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